Here’s a giant tease. My wife happily and sweetly and generously told me that this Saturday she and the kids are visiting a friend at the beach. They’re even taking the dog. This would mean that I would be left home all alone. No chauffering kids around, no chores, no having to make small talk with people I have no desire to know. Just me, the newspaper, and my beloved TV. Sounds too good to be true, right? That’s why I know it will never happen. I’m not a cynic. Honest. I’m a glass half full kind of guy. But I’ve been in this situation before. It always falls through. My wife’s friend will cancel last second, whereupon I’ll blame my family and maybe even hate them for just a second. Or one of my kids will get sick just to ruin my day. Of course I love my kids. I just want them gone this Saturday. No matter what. There’s so much that could go wrong that I can’t even enjoy the thought of a free Saturday happening. And even if it does happen (it won’t), I’ll just sit there waiting for the call from my wife telling me they’re coming home early. Maybe I do have an attitude problem. Either way, my Saturday is ruined. I’ll tell you about how it went to crap after this loooooonnng three-day weekend, which I am not looking forward to at all. Hey, but you have a good one, okay? Someone should.