I Better Get an “A”!

Here’s a confession that won’t surprise many who know me. I wasn’t the greatest student in school. I was failry smart, just (even by my standards) ridiculously lazy. I remember this one time. I think I was in seventh grade and I had to do this HUGE science project. It was due the next day and I hadn’t started yet at 8:00 at night. But I wasn’t worried. I should have been, but I wasn’t smart enough to worry back then. Now I’m genius at worrying.

Anyway, at 8:36 I came up with the idea! I’ll do a project on the moon. So I took a soccer ball and glued it to a piece of wood I found in the garage. Done! And just in time to watch “That’s Life!” If you know that show, you’re old. My brother came down into the basement where I just finished my masterpiece and asked, “WTF is that?!” When I told him, my brother, who hated me 99% of the time, actually looked worried for me and said there’s no way he was going to let me hand that in. I would get an “F” and the parents would find out and my life would be over. An “F”? I couldn’t believe it. He spent the next two hours fixing it, to make it look sort of like someone had put effort into it. I got a “D.” But not an “F,” which meant my parents never knew how close they came to killing me.

This is  a long ass story, just to make a point about how I, of all people, should never have to help my kids with their school project, but, alas, I do. Oh man, do I! And this is the very essence of how things have changed for the worse since I was a kid. My parents were so uninvolved with my schooling and my life back then. It was a thing of beauty. As long as you didn’t get an “F.” But nowadays, we’re so hyper-involved in every breath the little buggers take that it just can’t be healthy. So yes,  I did my kid’s project for her the other day. I’m not proud of it. I mean I am proud of the project. Extremely proud. It shows the inner workings of an ear drum and if it doesn’t get an “A” or win the Nobel Prize I’m going to hurt someone. No, what I’m not proud of is the fact that my kid didn’t help…at all. Okay. The truth is I wouldn’t LET her help. She wanted to. But trust me, she would have messed things up. This was MY project now. If I had to analyze things it might be that I’m still trying to make up for my moon project way back when. Whatever. I don’t care. And though I don’t really have a complaint about my family here, I still blame society for turning us into “involved” parents. If I could only be like my father, then not only wouldn’t I have taken ten hours of my valuable time, but I wouldn’t have even known there was a project. And I could have gone on blissfully not involved in the slightest in my kids’ lives. I might not have even known their names. And I deserve that! So in essence it is their fault. Sorry if I rambled on a bit. But I better get an “A!

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7 Responses to I Better Get an “A”!

  1. Parenting 101 says:

    F’ing A!
    What’s with today’s parents doing more homework today than we did when we were in school?
    Here’s an idea, just for a change…
    what say my ingrate of a daughter covers my butt for a change?
    Yeah, she can swing by my office and take a lap or two in the pressure cooker that I enjoy year in and year out, all in the name of bringing home the bacon (for a wife who has no idea how to fry it up in a pan, or where we keep the damn pans for that matter).
    Is it me or is society DEVOLVING?
    Of course the good news is, I will come home tonight from my hectic day, to find my wife standing at the door with a martini and my slippers at the ready.
    I’m sorry, did I just dream that out loud?

  2. You can’t wait?! What about me?! Darn teacher’s taking forever. And my kid forbids me to harass the teacher into grading faster. Where;s the justice?

  3. Happy Daddy says:

    I think we are tooooooooooo involved with our children, in every aspect of there lives. We just need to let them fall on there butt every now and then, so when they grow up they can survive in the real word.
    And just like our parents the response should be “get up and stop crying”, not “oh my poor baby your okay, let daddy fix it.”

    • I think we’d all be Happy Daddys if we could just do that! Why can’t we do that? What makes it so much harder these days? When did the change happen? This would be a good college thesis. Ooooh, maybe I can go back to college. And live there! I actually don’t think my wife would mind.

  4. Parenting 101 says:

    Can’t wait to see the end product of all this over involvement.
    Hmmm I wonder why today’s kids are still living at home into their 30’s.
    You didn’t see that happening back in the ’50’s.

    Ozzie and Harriet are laughing at us in their graves.
    Sorry, got to run… seems I forgot to printout my 7th graders essay on independence.

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