And no, I don’t mean cockraches, although I may have occasionally used that term to describe our upcoming guests. Yes, they’re baaaa-aaaccck! My mother-in-law, sister-in-law, two nieces and their friggin’ dog are coming to visit. And they’re staying with US! In our house. Where I live. Are we clear on how I feel about this?
This is nothing personal agianst any of them. I love them all, individually. But not as a group. Who is staying with me! So the way I would normally deal with this, aside from complaining nonstop to my wife until the moment they cross our threshhold, would be to work. A LOT! As you know by now, my job is my sanctuary. Usually just from my immediate family, but even more-so from my extended family. But there’s a problem.
His name is Dennis. I agree, you don’t hear that name much anymore these days. Dennis is my boss’s nephew. He’s 19, on summer break from some college (hey, my boss is lucky I listened when he said his name, forget hearing what college he went to!), and he’s going to work here for the summer. With me. Are you friggin’ kidding me?! Sorry, I promise not to use “friggin’” anymore.
And don’t get me wrong. Dennis is a good kid. I even like him. He’s smart, a quick learner, he’s even making my job easier. But he’s a kid. Which reminds me of my kids. Which reminds me of home. Which reminds me of the visiting cockroaches. I mean relatives. And this puts me in a sour mood. And now suddenly, my sanctuary isn’t! And that is unacceptable.
So, you see my dilemma, right? I have to get rid of Dennis, whom I like, so as not to think about the relatives, whom I don’t like. Visiting me, that is. The one good thing is that now I have to work on a plan that will return my job to its sanctuariness. And the challenge of that will be just the distraction I need.
And you thought my life was simple. Anyway, go about your visitor-free lives, as I try to reclaim my “Thank god it’s Monday” workplace. I’ll keep you posted. By the way, any of you got any room in your house?