Possibly the cruelest thing ever!

Okay, I got a couple of things, but I have to pick one so I won’t sound like all I do is complain. Even if it’s true, I don’t want to sound like it. So I guess I’ll choose…this one: My co-worker Tom is a great guy. He’s younger than me, looks up to me, does whatever I ask him. Love Tom. But Tom got married two years ago. Didn’t feel it was my place to warn him off that. Besides, marriage ain’t bad, not all by itself. It’s what marriage leads to that I have problems with. Yup. Kids.

So when Tom told me a couple of months ago that his wife was pregnant, I cringed inwardly, while outwardly patted him on the back. I mean, what am I going to do? She’s already pregnant. But anyway, that’s Tom’s future headache, not mine. Got plenty of my own. But then Tom, whom I love, did something that I hate. Something that angered me. Something so incomprehensible that I don’t know what to do about it. Tom invited my wife – AND ME!!!! – to his wife’s baby shower. Why?! Why would he do that? Why would anyone do that?! I can’t imagine anything worse. I’m serious.

And I’m not being sexist here, but men should never – NEVER – be invited to baby showers. Who doesn ‘t know this? Are Tom and his wife the only people on the planet that don’t know this? And here’s the worst part: I can’t NOT go. I work with the guy, and he knows too much about my “feelings” about my family to use them as an excuse. So bottom line: I have to go to a baby shower. (I just shuddered) This does two things. It taints my love for Tom. Sorry, Tom, but it just does. It also taints the sanctuariness of my workplace. Work has prevented me from going to so many stupid functions I had no desire to go to, but now, because of work, I’m going to a nightmare event. And I blame Tom for it all.

I will have to exact some revenge on the unsuspecting shlub, otherwise my resentment will boil over into something really ugly. No one wants that. So if you learn nothing else from my pain, learn this: If you care even the slightest about a guy, don’t invite him to your baby shower. No one else should ever feel this way. Ever.

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6 Responses to Possibly the cruelest thing ever!

  1. offthe23 says:

    It will be OK. Girls parties are fun. They drink a lot!

  2. Dr Phil says:

    Obviously Tom’s wife is behind this. (There has to be a blog and a half on that alone). For whatever reason you chose to allow Tom to seed up his wife, I say it is time you put both you AND Tom out of this (and any future) sadistic misery once and for all.

    IF YOU REALLY CARE FOR THIS DEAR TOM you owe him an eye opening talk. Soon enough this mook will be changing diapers, wasting his weekends spending his hard earned poker money on Daddy & Me, and having to spend time with (and pretend to like) every father within 45 miles of his now cluttered with LIttle Tikes Toys home.

    Explain to Tom this may very well be the last weekend he will know as a sane man. Step up and do the humane thing. Schedule a getaway weekend for the two of you at the office. Maybe an emergency inventory of supplies is in order. I know i’d rather be counting paper clips than eating tea sandwiches with a room full of women who are either pregnant or jealous they aren’t pregnant.

    • Wow. You sir, are one bitter man. Love it! I’m not in a doing-Tom-a-favor mood right now. I’ll probably come around to the point where I know it was just ignorance on his part that allowed him to hurt me so, but I ain’t there yet. And what the hell is a tea sandwich? Can this thing get any worse?!

  3. Dr Phil says:

    What’s a tea sandwich? It’s the EXACT OPPOSITE of a beer and a hoagie.
    You seem east coast. You know from hoagies?

    • Yup. I’m a Jersey boy. I know from hoagies. We also called them subs, heroes and torpedoes. I didn’t care as long as they were good, and they were always good. Even better with a beer. Tea sandwiches? Don’t think those two words belong together.

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