I Want My Baby Back, Baby Back, Baby Back, Baby Back…

No, I’m not trying to revive that great Chili’s commercial, although it was catchy. I think ‘N Sync sang it. And now I’m craving their baby back, baby back ribs. Wait. What was my point? Oh yeah. MY DAUGHTER IS GONE!!

Yup, we took her to college last weekend. And remember all my griping about her eye rolling, dismissive attitude, TV remote hogging, and general hatred of me? Well, I miss it ALL!!! I know. I’m as shocked as anyone. It’s probably like that phenomenon when a torture victim misses the torture once it stops.

It’s a weird, empty, sinking feeling in the pit of my belly. Even though we could go days without her talking to me (once it was 17 days in a row. Pretty impressive, huh?) there was some weird comfort knowing she was upstairs writing horrible, possibly criminal things about me in her diary. Once she wrote it all on her Facebook wall. You should have seen the way her friends looked at me after that one.

It’s been about a week now, and you think I might be enjoying the lack of tension that was always there. Or the absence of fear as I entered our home wondering what kind of mood my lovely girl was going to be in that day: She Beast or Queen She Beast. And you know what? Things are calmer, quieter. Which I realize translates into boring. Yup. I miss her.

But…

The other day she called. It was great to hear her voice. For about a second. Then she annoyed me like never before. Complaining to me about things she was supposed to do before she arrived at college. Somehow this was all my fault. And suddenly all my angst, fear, trepidation and longing to not be here flooded back like a Tsunami.

And in that instant I realized, she’s not really gone. She’ll never be really gone. And that thought comforted me in some sick way. As well as frightened me beyond belief.

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14 Responses to I Want My Baby Back, Baby Back, Baby Back, Baby Back…

  1. Sigmoidoscopy Freud says:

    A son is your son until he takes a wife but a daughter is your daughter for the rest of your life.

  2. The Dean says:

    Getting a little teary this past week? You sure it wasn’t the stock market that’s got your heart skipping a beat? Watching my retirement vanish into thin air has turned me quite emotional these days. My kid hasn’t gone to college yet, but all I can think is that once that happens and the volume in my house is cut by 33% and the anxiety by 100% I may have to retire.
    Who needs to hide away in an office at that point?

    Now on to the title of this week’s blog, no offense but I lost some serious respect for you. Chili’s baby back ribs aren’t ribs. I have to assume you have never had the good fortune of dining on championship smoked BBQ. Let me guess, you also think Macaroni Grill is Italian food.

    • Hold on there, Dean. When you cast aspersions about my food loving, you cut me. Deeply. Now I’m thinking about steak. First of all, Chili’s ribs aren’t the worst. They’re far from the best, I admit. But all I was saying was thinking of that commercial made me crave ribs. I know ribs, Sir. The best dry ones I ever had were in Memphis at a place called Rendezvous. The best ribs of any kind I ever had were at a friend’s barbecue. This guy can cook. But in a pinch, yes, I’d eat Chili’s ribs if nothing else was available. And since I’m in a confessional mood, I’ll admit that though I avoided going to the Macaroni Grill for years simply because I hated the name, I’ve gone and enjoyed my meals. The best Italian food? Of course not. But not bad. And please don’t bring up the stock market, finances or paying for college education ever again, because then I lose my appetite all together and THAT is bad for the economy!

  3. The Dean says:

    Rendezvous? Ok then, someone knows their BBQ. You have a friend whose Q lives up to the Memphis classic. I humbly stand corrected. Chili’s was merely literary license. I’ll give you a Pasadena on food talk (clearly a passion of yours) unless of course the steak you know crave is waiting for you at Sizzlers.

  4. I’d like to hear about the possible criminal things about you that your daughter is aware of. It’s time to confess.

  5. Dr Monday says:

    So are you feeling the stomach pit…or self pity?

    I moved across the country to be with my little girl (niece). My reality is, is that she is not mine & now moving onto college, so I’m stuck,too.
    I have been depressed for > 1 year about this day, whereas her father has been packing her bags with one hand & puffing a cigar with the other.

    So your baby, who looks up to you & respects you, is gone. Maybe you can re-kindle the marriage; maybe.

    Remember the days of ‘girl friends.’ Then keep remembering. Your world changed when that girl friend became your wife.
    Before you get excited about your new life (lingerie, intimacy & special treatment) listen to Chris Rock:

    “….your girl friend, wants to make you happy & be your friend.” When you say those 2 words, she doesn’t want to be your friend….she wants to be your WIFE.

    As I sit ‘Shiva,’ as my niece moves on, I will think of you.
    After hour Appointments available, upon request
    Respectfully

  6. Dr Huxtable says:

    Clearly a learned man. The Dr’s niece is VERY LUCKY to have him in her life. Clearly she needs a father figure, if he is suggesting her own father is celebrating her leaving the nest. Though my guess is that girl grew up in a home filled with love and support. I’m sure her father is dealing with his little girl growing up and moving on in his own way.

    Speaking of cigars…when did this blog become a cry-fest? This used to be a place where a man could practically enjoy a virtual cigar.
    Someone write something quick about the joy of conference calls, meetings and being lucky enough to pull a double shift on Labor Day weekend.

    Ah yes, Labor Day is around the corner. The one holiday that is supposed to be dedicated to honoring the working man. RIGHT (caps = sarcasm) When was the last Labor Day any man who had the good fortune of becoming a father in the last 2 decades, did what he wanted to do on that holiday?

  7. Dr Monday says:

    Your daughter has obviously brought you tears for years & some maturity too.

    Now that both of our girls are gone, it’s time for a mid-life crisis…(next season, if not tomorrow)

    It took marriage, for me to understand what a virtual cigar, really means.

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