The Vicious Cycle Called My Life…

You ever write down thoughts about your life and where you want to go with it? I do. But only once every five years. I’m lazy that way. Well, I recently read something I wrote ten years ago. Guess what? Nothing has changed. This is sad, if not surprising. So likewise I just re-read my first posting of this blog from just over a year ago (I planned to do it on the one year anniversary of my blog, but like I said, I’m lazy). Guess what? Nothing has changed. Once again: sad, not surprising.

I could almost copy that post and paste it here. But I won’t. I’m not that lazy. Or am I? Hopefully you’re too lazy to go back and check. So once again it’s Labor Day. Seems like only a year ago that I was doing the same thing: going to a barbecue I don’t want to go to. For one thing, my family will be with me. You know my daughter who went off to college? Well, she came home for the long weekend. I was so excited when she told me she was coming home and now I’m counting the seconds till she goes back. When she got home we hugged, then that was the end of the good. I’m pretty sure she’s not talking to me, but I don’t want to find out I’m wrong, so I’m keeping a low profile. She really doesn’t want to go to this barbecue, but my wife is making her (I was FINE with her not coming) and so she hates us.

My son? Well, he’s willing to deign us with his presence for 47 minutes. Not kidding, that’s exactly what he said. But then I’m expected to leave the barbecue (yay) and drive him to a friend’s whom I don’t know (as Joy Behar would say, or rather SNL’s Fred Armissen as Joy Behar would say: “So what? Who cares?”). I complain about it so he can feel good about putting me out. I’m considerate that way. But also so I can escape the barbecue. Oh. I forgot to mention how I hate almost everyone who’s going to be there. Hate is a strong word. That’s why I used it!

I actually like the host. And his wife. The guy is the most amazing barbecuer. He says “cuer,” but I cut him some slack. But his friends? His relatives? BORING!!! I won’t bore you with the boring things they talk about, but it’s an excruciating kind of boring.

I know I’ll get through it. I know I’ll enjoy the food. I know my daughter will hate me until the second she leaves and asks for money. I know I might “accidentally” forget to pick up my son. But all I’ll really be doing this loooooonnnnng weekend is dream of Tuesday, when I can get back to the sanctuary of my desk. Labor Day is a celebration of the workers, right? So let me get the heck back to work! Happy Labor Day. Hope yours will be better than mine. Good chance of that happening.

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6 Responses to The Vicious Cycle Called My Life…

  1. Sigmoidoscopy Freud says:

    The best way to deal with boring people is to get drunk. You will say things that drive them away and hopefully they will not invite you back next year. And since you are drunk, you cannot drive and your wife will have to deal with the son shuttle. She will hate (strong word) you for a few days which will enable you to focus on the barrage of 9/11 specials on tap in the next week. You may want to stay drunk through all those as well. Before you know it Yom Kippur will be here to cheer you up.

    • Thanks, Sig, good advice, except I find when I drink I get even less tolerant of boors, which I didn’t think was possible. The one good thing about Yom Kippur is it takes my mind off of everything else because I can only focus on how friggin’ hungry I am. Possibly not the spirit of atonement that was intended.

  2. Sigmoidoscopy Freud says:

    The secret to fasting is to smell the breath of the Rabbi. Your hunger will quickly pass. Shalom!

  3. Labor of Love says:

    Mazel Tov on the one year anniversary of your blog, and THANK YOU for realizing no major changes in your life (at least positive ones) since embarking on it. I look forward to all your posts and I have to assume your fresh take on reality wouldn’t be quite as enjoyable if you had the only carefree family life in the entire world.
    Happy Labor Day.
    Now get back to your campaign for father of the year.

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