Is It Safe to Come Out Yet?

I wanted to wait a few days to make sure it was really 2012 and not some elaborate hoax aimed specifically at me. That’s not ego talking, that’s just a by-product of how bad 2011 was for me. And here’s the kicker. I didn’t even know it was bad until I looked back. Which leads to my first and only New Year’s resolution: No looking back. Whenever I do it’s like failing. Twice. Who needs that?

Yes, I know what you’re saying. And of course there are some good memories. Some good moments from last year. But every time someone wants to reminisce about a past glorious moment it always leads to another memory that ain’t so great. Take this past Christmas break for example. My family and I went back east. Now, not counting the best pizza ever, that alone conjures up three nightmares: 1. My family was with me.  2. Flying. I believe I’ve mentioned my irrational, but life-shortening fear. 3. Staying with my mother-in-law.

My mother-in-law (and what kind of law is that anyway?) is a kind, sweet woman…who makes me want to drive the car off the bridge when I’m with her. And I’m afraid of heights! Any example I give will only make me look like a petty, intolerable person. I am those things. But I swear she would drive you crazy. Please believe me on this!

All my other bad 2011 memories are also petty. I mean, there were no real tragedies, unless you consider deaths, divorces, bankruptcies and Adam Sandler’s “Jack and Jill” tragedies. I guess my big gripe with 2011 is I have nothing to show for it other than more angst in my belly. I put on about 8 pounds of angst this holiday season alone. 

So now that it’s 2012 (it is isn’t it?) I’m going to try and do it better. What is “it” you may ask? I don’t know. But whatever it is, I need to do it better. So I’m going to try and only look forward. To block out each day the second it’s over. Instead of waiting a whole year to start a new, clean slate, I’m going to start a clean slate each and every day. So whatever annoying things my kids and/or wife do today (and in this unreliable world that’s one thing you can count on), tomorrow it will be as if it never happened. See? Clean slate. Great plan, right? It’s also impossible. I’ve tried this the past 17 years and it never works. Guess I am the definition of insanity. Oh well, as unhearfelt as it may seem…Happy New Year.

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4 Responses to Is It Safe to Come Out Yet?

  1. Auld Anxiety says:

    May 2012 be filled with plenty of OT, last minute weekend riddled deadlines, and mandatory midnight staff meetings, to get you through the new year.

  2. Peaches says:

    Just think 2012 will bring the summer Olympics and a presidential election so no one will be focusing on you!

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